


Never Going Back Again

by 2amEuphoria



Category: Prodigal Son (TV 2019)
Genre: Ainsley is a horse girl (what else is new), Malcolm's such a good big brother, Multi, Please don't judge me for being a horse girl writing about horse girls, Sibling Fluff, with a lil brightwell at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:38:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21883843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2amEuphoria/pseuds/2amEuphoria
Summary: “If you-know-what happens, she’s going home.”Malcolm tries to be a supportive big brother by coming to Ainsley’s riding lessons.
Relationships: Ainsley Whitly & Jessica Whitly, Malcolm Bright & Ainsley Whitly, Malcolm Bright & Jessica Whitly, Malcolm Bright/Dani Powell
Comments: 12
Kudos: 53





	Never Going Back Again

**Author's Note:**

> **There is a lot of horse riding terminology in this fic. Therefore, I made a resource on my tumblr page to help anyone who’s a bit lost-you can find it HERE. I did my best to explain things: 
> 
> https://brightandwell.tumblr.com/post/189788324301/notes-for-never-going-back-again
> 
> I also want to add that while yes, I ride horses myself, I haven’t done huntseat riding (which is what Ainsley’s doing in this fic) in quite a few years, so…Yeah, I tried to make everything as accurate as what I remember doing back when I was jumping. I switched to dressage riding because jumping gives me massive amounts of anxiety, lol. 
> 
> And yes, the title is based off of that iconic song from Fleetwood Mac’s “Rumors” album. I had this song in my head whenever I jumped, few ideas as to why.

“If you-know-what happens, I’m getting out of the car and taking her home.”

Malcolm nodded his head at his mother before shutting the passenger door and wandering over to his spot on one of the benches outside the arena.

He didn’t like horses, but his mother _hated_ the “car-sized beasts, with minds of their own,” so while Jessica “attempted” to watch Ainsley from the side mirrors of the car, Malcolm volunteered to stay with her during her lessons. “Volunteering” meant sitting on a bench next to the arena’s fence and reading, as well as occasionally looking up to see his 10-year-old sister piloting her horse over perfectly-manicured jumps.

Malcolm didn’t understand the appeal. Ainsley’s horse had two names-Lucky, and “As Luck Would Have It,” which seemed pointless-why confuse the poor animal? The horse towered over his four foot-something sister-“he’s over 16 hands tall,” Ainsley told him once, whatever that meant- to the point where she needed a step stool to brush his mane. When Lucky snorted it was so loud that Malcolm would nearly jump out of his skin, causing Lucky to do the same, causing Ainsley to chastise him: “you’re scaring him, Malcolm! Horses don’t like scaredy-cats!” And whenever the horse ate apples-his favorite, according to his sister-he’d drool all over her hands, which made Ainsley giggle and Malcolm beg her to “wash your hands off with the hose, _please_ Ains, you know Mom’ll get mad if you touch the seatbelt with sticky fingers…”

And that was Lucky before Ainsley got on him. Once their lessons began, the tall brown (“bay,” Ainsley would correct him, “not brown”) creature would huff around the outdoor arena, his hooves kicking up sand that Malcolm swore would get into the spines of his books.  
The ground shook whenever he landed after a jump Ains took him over, or whenever he did that “skippy-hoppy thing” (“it’s called a lead change,” she’d remind him, “get it right.”). Though he knew they weren’t real, but he wondered if Tolkien used a horse as inspiration when he created his dragon character Smaug; Lucky did everything but breathe fire and hoard gold. 

He didn’t understand the appeal, but he knew how much riding meant to Ainsley. Both him and Jessica wanted her to be involved in anything that kept her from wondering where her father was. So Jessica fought her opinions and anxieties of horses enough to drive her daughter to the barn every Saturday, and Malcolm met her halfway by volunteering to watch. It was an unspoken agreement between them, to keep Ainsley happy and not thinking of Martin.  
__________________

One of the up-sides to coming to Ainsley’s lessons was Jen, Ainsley’s trainer. Young, spritely and tougher than her lithe frame would lead anyone to believe (Malcolm watched her pick up a draft horse’s hoof once, something that Ainsley said “she does _allllll_ the time”), she was also one of the few people left who wouldn’t pry for gossip about their serial killer father. Jen also recognized Malcolm’s efforts to support his sister; each time she’d walk to the arena to begin teaching, she’d pass Malcolm with a “hey kiddo, thanks for coming,” and give him a mint from her pocket. Malcolm eventually found out that it was a treat she also gave to the horses, but he appreciated the gesture nonetheless. 

When he saw Jen come out of the barn for today’s lesson, a few moments after Ainsley had brought Lucky into the arena and hopped on, she offered Malcolm a soft smile, as well as a mint. 

“I think your sister’s ready to step up today,” Jen whispered, popping the mint in between the pages of Malcolm’s battered copy of _The Hobbit._ “Let’s hope your mom doesn’t kill me.” 

Initially he returned Jen’s humor with a smile of his own, before remembering his mother’s words from earlier, about “you-know-what” happening. Maybe “you-know-what” might happen today, after all.

He popped the mint into his mouth and returned to his book, though his eyes wandered off the page and over to his sister more than usual.

“We’re trying something new today,” Jen called out to Ainsley, who was happily posting along with Lucky’s trot. “If I set up a course for you today, do you think you can count strides on your own?”

“You bet!” Ainsley shouted, reaching down to give Lucky a quick pat. Malcolm swallowed a lump in his throat. _Yeah,_ he thought, _“you-know-what” is gonna happen, and soon._

“Perfect!” Jen threw up her hands, which made Lucky side-step in fear. From a few yards away, Malcolm noticed his mother’s face appear in the driver’s side mirror.

Jen set up a small course, and explained her so-called “plan of attack” to Ainsley: “trot him up to the first fence”-she pointed to a lone jump by itself on the side of the arena close to their mother’s car- “and then once you get your canter going, bring him over this line of two fences”-she spun around to a set of two jumps spread out several feet apart from each other on the opposite side of the arena, close to where Malcolm was sitting. “Once you get out of that line, keep cantering around the outside of the first jump, and then I want you to cut through the arena and take him over the second of the two fences in this line one more time. Remember, you’re not repeating the line again, you’re just taking him over the last of the two fences. So it’s trot up to fence number one, canter counter-clockwise to fences two and three, canter counter-clockwise past fence number one, cut through and bring him over fence number three once again.” Jen’s smirk after seeing Ainsley give a tiny nod was mischievous, but encouraging. “Get it? Make me proud. Let’s go.”

Malcolm shut his book. Jessica’s face stayed visible in the driver’s side mirror.

Ainsley brought Lucky through the first fence without batting an eye, but once he landed and began to canter, Malcolm saw his sister’s expression change from confidence to unease. He suddenly realized how fragile she looked, dressed in her pink polo and cream riding pants (“they’re called ‘breeches,’ Malcolm; they’re better than pants,” he recalled her saying), her little legs barely wrapped around Lucky’s heaving sides. Her suede black helmet suddenly looked incompetent-shouldn’t she be wearing all the protective gear football players wear? What was a helmet going to do to protect her abdomen if Lucky fell over on top of her? What good would her leather tall boots do, other than look like the $500 their mother spent on them? What would-

Ainsley and Lucky had made it over the second jump, but after landing, she remained lurched forward, perched over the horse’s shoulder. Jen started to speak up, but it was too late- Lucky launched over the third fence and Ainsley’s feet nearly came out of her stirrups.

“Sit back!” Jen called out to her. “He landed on the wrong lead, so sit back and let him change!”

Ainsley’s eyes resembled that of a deer in headlights as they met Malcolm’s for a split second before she pushed herself off of Lucky’s neck to adjust her seat. Sand swatted Malcolm’s book as Lucky leapt forward in the air and changed his lead.

“You can’t take a nap on him, Ainsley,” Jen hollered, “You gotta sit up after you land. Were you counting or were you just staying in two-point because you didn’t know when he’d take off?”

“I counted,” Ainsley retorted, though Malcolm recognized her tone-it was the same one she used when she lied about who stole sweets from the kitchen before dinner.

“Be a driver, not a passenger; you have to help him out,” Jen replied. Malcolm knew that Jen knew Ainsley was fibbing too. “Take him over the last fence and finish the course.”

Whether it was Jen’s “be the driver” phrase or the stereotypical “youngest child” desire to prove herself, Ainsley became a “driver,” albeit the driver of a horse whose speed and breathing had changed to sound more like a Ferrari than a tugboat. Horse and rider breezed past the first fence-and again, Malcolm noticed his mother staring-before Ainsley steered Lucky into the middle of the arena to seek out their final obstacle. 

“I would remember counting, Ainsley,” Jen called to her, but his sister looked focused on slicing through the fence ahead, kicking him forward. Lucky’s ears pricked up, which apparently meant “target sighted, target locked” in horse body language, but something about the way Malcolm could see the whites of the animal’s eyes gave him an uneasy feeling.

“Ainsley, not a good-” Malcolm picked up what sounded like Jen’s voice over the sound of Lucky’s dragon-like panting, as he and Ainsley were now less than 15 feet away from him.

He could only guess what Jen else was saying, because in the same moment Malcolm tried to comprehend her words he watched a half-ton animal slide on all fours before coming to a jarring, sudden stop-one that gave Ainsley’s whole body a one-way trip off the saddle and onto Lucky’s neck.

Malcolm swallowed bile.

“You-know-what,” Jessica’s code name for any horse-related incidents that involved Ainsley falling (or coming “just a smidge too close to it,” as his mother would say), came to fruition.

Both horse and rider took a look down at the jump they avoided before Lucky lifted his head (and Ainsley with him) and side-stepped a few paces away from the jump. Malcolm heard Jen sigh from the other side of the arena before letting out a shaky, breathy laugh. 

“Okay, cowgirl. So, what I _said,_ was-”

_“Ainsley?!”_

Jen jogged over to talk down Jessica, who-as Malcolm expected-left the car and was struggling to walk on gravel in her high heels. Malcolm breathed a laugh as he noticed Jen, though concerned, was fighting a smile at the sight of his mother avoiding puddles and mud to make it to the arena. 

He turned his attention to Ainsley, who by now had pulled herself back into the saddle, but kept Lucky at a halt a few feet from the bench Malcolm was seated at. She watched her trainer and mother with a neutral expression, though Malcolm could only guess what she was overthinking.

Leaving his book behind, he approached the fence that separated the arena from the viewing area. He didn’t want to do what he was about to do, but he had to.

“You okay, Ains?” He spoke just loud enough for only his sister to hear. Once she noticed him, Ainsley kicked Lucky over to where he was standing.

“Yeah. He just refused the jump but I’m okay. You can tell Mom I’ll get off in a minute.”

“No, I think Jen’s got you covered with that, you’ll be able to finish today… I was going to say I can help you. I get it now.”

She blinked. “You get what?”

“When you’re counting strides, when do you jump? When you get to ‘one,’ or that ‘take-off’ thing I’ve heard Jen mention before?”

“Take-off,” She replied. 

“And you don’t count the ‘land’ thing Jen says either as a full stride, right? When his feet first touch the ground?”

“Nope, ‘land’ is when his front feet touch the ground after the jump, then you go back to counting again when he’s done a full stride.” Ainsley sighed, looking down and threading her fingers through Lucky’s mane. “I know how to count, I just get scared and forget. So I either push him to just get over the fences or I go into two-point and stay there until he jumps.”

He frowned, eyeing the second and third fences she’d stumbled over. Ainsley was being stubborn, as she normally was, but he knew she was trying. 

His eyes returned to her. “Just wait and watch my fingers count down, okay? When I count down to 1, then you do that ‘leaning forward’ thing.”

“It’s called two-point.” 

“Whatever. Just watch me, Ains, and I’ll help, I promise. Just… don’t pull another stunt like that, or Mom’ll have a heart attack. Okay?”

Jessica was making her way back to the car now, and Jen was coming back into the arena. Ainsley gave her brother a quick nod before asking Lucky to walk on. Malcolm remained where he was, studying his sister and her trainer as they shared a private conversation. 

After a few moments, Jen backed up into the center of the arena. “One more time to show Mom we know what we’re doing on a horse, got it?” Her eyes flicked to Malcolm’s newly appointed viewing area. “Look, even your brother put his book down to watch! Show him what you can do!”

Ainsley brought Lucky back into a steady trot and went to repeat the course. She didn’t need her brother to trot over the first fence, Malcolm knew this, but as soon as Lucky landed and began cantering, he noticed her head turning ever so-slightly to make sure he was keeping his promise. 

He’d been to enough of her lessons that he’d been picking up on the concept of counting strides. He’d seen and heard Lucky’s footfalls enough to guess that his stride was somewhere between 12 and 24 feet, and that helped him count down strides until the “take-off” point Ainsley mentioned. If he could help her count, help her realize when Lucky was about to jump, maybe she’d actually stay on and keep “you-know-what” from happening again. 

Malcolm grabbed his book off the bench and returned to his spot by the fence. _The Hobbit’s_ dark cover made for a good contrasting background to the hand he draped in front of it, right in his sister’s line of sight. 

Horse and rider approached the second fence, and Malcolm’s eyes went to the animal’s feet, tracking each time Lucky’s hooves struck the ground.

“Remember to count, Ainsley; you can do this!” Jen shouted. 

Ainsley’s eyes fixated on the fences in front of her, and on her brother’s fingers just beyond that. Malcolm started to count down.

_3, 2, 1, take-off._

Strands of mane from the crest of Lucky’s neck brushed against Ainsley’s shirt as they were in the air.

 _Land._ Her eyes went back to her brother.

_5, 4, 3, 2, 1, take-off. Land._

She winked at Malcolm as she and Lucky coursed by him before leaning forward to give the horse a quick pat on the neck.

“Who are you, girl?!” Jen cried from the center of the arena. “That was great counting! One more fence and you’re golden.”

Ainsley started to push Lucky forward as they cut through the arena to the last fence, her shoulders and seat locking in a sudden wave of anxiety. 

“Don’t go back there again in your mind, Ainsley,” Jen’s voice broke through to her. “Loosen up and count.”

Her gaze flicked to her brother, who was already waiting for her so they could count together.

_6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. take-off. Land._

“Done!” Something possessed him to shout. Ainsley giggled excitedly as she rubbed Lucky’s neck. Jen cheered. From the parking lot, Jessica got out of the car and clapped.

He watched as Ainsley rode Lucky out of the arena for a cool-down walk around the property, oblivious to Jen walking towards him. He flinched when she patted his shoulder.

“I saw what was actually going on during her last time around the course,” she said. “That was really sweet of you, helping her out.”

He blushed, at a loss for words. Jen tussled his hair before heading towards the barn. 

“She’ll need to learn to count strides on her own someday,” Jen called to him over her shoulder, “but at least now she’s learned that she always has you there to help her,”

Malcolm nodded, looking down and realizing Jen had covertly shoved another mint in between the pages of his book.

__________________

“Wanna see something different? There’s a place I’ve been to before, just right up the road.”

They’d spent their Saturday following up on a double homicide that’d taken place an hour outside the city. The team rarely left the city limits, but the local police believed that the killings might be connected to a cold case in Brooklyn, and asked for their help. Dani had been grumbling since 10am about how unfortunate it was that they had to be working on such a beautiful, sunny day, and Malcolm had an idea of how make her afternoon a bit more entertaining.

She obliged, letting him plug the location into her GPS. When she made a right turn and started driving up a long gravel driveway, though, she nearly cut the engine.

“Where are you taking me?” she questioned, her tone light but bewildered. “You’re not gonna murder me in a park too, are you?”

“Just keep driving,” he urged, “you’ll smell it before you see it.”

“Oh, fabulous. Okay then,” she muttered, following the winding road. 2 yards ahead and she realized he was right about the smell after all; her nose knew something her eyes didn’t, and she felt the overwhelming urge to sneeze.

“Cows?”

“Ha! Don’t tell Ainsley you thought it was that… No, much taller.”

Before she could answer him they were in the parking lot, and she nearly stomped on the brakes when she caught sight of a horse and rider going over a jump a few feet to her right.

“Bri-… Why are we here?” And she thought she was confused when she saw the state of the victims they’d found earlier.

“Ooh, if you look over by that tree, there’s Ains. Wanna go say hi?”

“I…Guess?” She pulled into a spot-or what she thought was one anyway-and hesitantly unclipped her seatbelt. Malcolm was already 5 paces ahead of her, calling his sister’s name.

Dani trailed behind, debating whether she should call Gil. Perhaps it’d be best to let the team know they might be late getting back to the station, because their profiler thought they should take a detour at a horse barn.

Malcolm was chatting away with his sister, who was in an outfit just as expensive but far more different than any of the suits she wore on TV. Dani had never seen someone wear a collared shirt with dark blue yoga pants before, but then again…Yeah, those were definitely for riding, definitely not yoga pants. To complete the look, Ainsley held a (in Dani’s opinion) _huge_ horse eating grass at the end of a rope in her hands. Malcolm occasionally reached over and rubbed the animal’s back. He made eye contact with Dani and waved her over.

“Dani! Come meet Simon!” The horse pricked up and craned its head around to see who Malcolm had been talking to, and Dani nearly walked backwards all the way to her car. 

Ainsley laughed at Dani’s response. “He won’t bite; he likes new people.” 

“’New people,’ meaning he doesn’t like other people in general?” She played with a loose hem on the side of her shirt as she carefully stepped closer. 

Ainsley breathed a laugh and shook her head. “If he can handle Malcolm’s everyday anxiety, he can handle you being temporarily nervous.” She extended a free hand to the detective. “Nice seeing you again!”

Dani sneezed before returning the handshake. “Likewise,” she replied, turning her attention to Malcolm scratching _inside_ the horse’s ear and the horse, well, loving every second of it. “Bright, you put gloves on to touch dead bodies a half hour ago, and now-”

“Oh, it’s his favorite,” Malcolm cut her off, laughing as the animal pressed his enormous head against the profiler’s suit jacket. “Wanna try? He’ll love you forever.”

“I’ll pass; you seem to be enjoying it as much as he is.” Ainsley giggled. Dani gingerly brought her fingertips to Simon’s back. It was smoother and softer than she anticipated, and she went to run her whole hand along his body before a huge head with brown eyes and pointed ears went to touch her shoulder. She flinched, and Simon did too, but continued extending his nose towards her, curious and (in Dani’s opinion) probably amused with her reactions.

Ainsley passed the rope to Malcolm. “You wanna let him keep grazing for a bit? I have to go wash his saddle.” She smiled at Dani as she walked away, leaving them with a wave and “you’ll warm up to him quick; he’s really just an oversized dog!”

Simon began grazing again, and Malcolm chuckled softly at the look of bewilderment on Dani’s face. “Sorry to freak you out,” he said, patting Simon’s shoulder. “I thought you might want to be around something a little more light-hearted.”

She swatted the air with her hand. “Nah, I’m fine. Just not used to being around an animal bigger than a dog.” She went to lay her palm against the horse’s side and slowly began to stroke him. “You have to give me some background on this though-you had snakes as a kid, that makes sense given, well…you, but now you’re shoving half of your hand in a horse’s ear?”

He shrugged, a smile playing on his lips. “Ainsley’s been riding here since she was 7. My mom hated watching, so I sacrificed myself and sat outside reading during her lessons. Sometimes I’d watch. One day though, she nearly fell off while jumping because she couldn’t count her strides right. I could count them, though, so I helped her to keep our mother from never letting her go near a horse again. After that I started offering to help out before and after her lessons, too, and well… here we are.” 

“I have no idea what you were just talking about,” she responded, “but whatever you did sounds like a good big brother thing to do.”

“Thank you.” He looked down at Simon, who was still happily grazing. Dani followed his gaze and noticed for the first time how soothing and rhythmic the sounds of the horse ripping and eating grass were.

“Isn’t there a big brown horse in an Eric Carle book?” she asked, admiring the horse’s coat.

“His color is bay, actually,” Malcolm replied, stifling a chuckle when Dani made a twisted face at him. “B-a-y, not ‘b-a-e.’ Although he certainly does come ‘before anyone else’ in Ainsley’s book.”

“I believe it. He’s nice, not to mention ‘tall, dark and handsome.’ What more could you want?” She leaned forward to put a hand on his neck, giving the animal a quick scratch.

Simon’s head shot up, and suddenly those big eyes were focused on her again, his nose inches from her face. Dani brought a hand up and placed it against his upper lip, softening when she realized how much it felt like velvet.

“See? He just wants to make friends,” Malcolm cooed. “I mean, if you scratch his back, he’ll actually scratch yours for real. Wanna see?”

“Excuse me?” Dani blurted out, but Malcolm had already made up his mind. “Stand right here-” he gently guided her to stand at the horse’s shoulder, and Dani hoped he wouldn’t see how much she blushed when he touched her- “and scratch this spot here-” he tapped an area at the edge of Simon’s shoulder blades, where a thin chunk of his mane was- “really fast. You’ll see.”

She swallowed a rush of nerves but followed his instructions, using her fingernails to scratch circles around the spot he’d pointed out to her. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Simon craning his neck towards her again, this time with his upper lip twitching. Dani held her breath when she felt his head and neck wrap around her, and if Malcolm hadn’t burst out laughing when she felt the horse’s lip start to swipe back and forth across her back, she probably would’ve collapsed from fear. It was rough, and yet somewhat soothing?

“Good boy, Sy,” Malcolm gave him a quick pat. “Just no biting, okay?”

“Okay, okay, okay,” Dani quickly pulled away at the mention of anything more than the horse’s lip wrinkling her t-shirt. “I’m good. Thank you though, buddy,” she found herself cooing like Malcolm did at the animal. She stroked the side of his face, staring into his eye when she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket.

“It’s Gil,” she muttered to Malcolm, and he nodded as she stepped away to answer the call.

Much to Dani’s surprise, Gil wasn’t upset at all that they hadn’t returned to the city yet-in fact, he found it hilarious that Malcolm brought him to meet Ainsley and her horse. “I took her to her lessons a couple times,” Gil recalled, “nice place. Bright’s really involved whenever he goes there-it’s interesting to watch.”

“Tell me about it,” Dani replied, knowing that Gil would probably be able to hear her eyes rolling through the phone. “We’ll be back soon, that I promise you.”

“Take your time,” Gil murmured before hanging up, “I think it’s nice that you get to see a totally different side of him.”

Ainsley had reappeared from the barn and was standing next to her by the time Dani hung up. They exchanged niceties before Ainsley suddenly laughed and pointed off in the distance. “Look at that,” she giggled.

Simon was still grazing, but Malcolm was leaning against the horse, his arms folded to cradle his head on the animal’s back. His phone lay almost perfectly flat atop Simon’s hindquarters.

“His favorite thing to do is take naps on the ponies,” Ainsley shook her head humorously. “He still hasn’t changed, even after all these years.”

“He told me he helped you out once during a lesson, and he got more involved ever since,” Dani explained.

Ainsley nodded. “Yep, that’s true. After a while though, my mom, my trainer Jen, and I started to see how much being around horses was helping _him._ He got a less panicky if a crisis arose, and started being a bit more present in the world. Horses will do that to you.”

Dani smiled. The thought of anxious, flight-driven Malcolm benefitting from being around horses warmed her. 

“And, of course, the best bonus was that he always got to read and then _sleep_ against these big love bugs,” Ainsley stepped forward to project her voice. “You’re gonna ruin your suit, Mal!” 

Both women must’ve laughed for well over five minutes when they saw the scene that unfolded before them: Malcolm springing awake, Simon jigging a few steps away from him due to Malcolm’s sudden reaction, Malcolm trying to soothe the horse, and Simon, suddenly disinterested, returning to graze.

 _This one’s a real dork,_ Dani thought. An unconventional, random, full-of-surprises kind of dork. . She tilted her head at the scene before her and shook her head. 

_And yet, he’s still lovable all the same._

**Author's Note:**

> This was pretty long, so I apologize if it was too much for some...However, I hope you all enjoyed!
> 
> Dedicated to my trainers over the years: Jen, who taught me to canter; Bonnie, who helped me over my first jump; Rachel, who (valiantly) tried to teach me to count strides; and finally my current trainer, Ali, who I hope to learn from for the rest of my riding career. Also dedicated to the real-life Lucky and Simon, who carried me over jumps and on walks around the barn for one of the best summers of my life.
> 
> "Soundtrack" for this fanfiction:
> 
> -"Never Going Back Again" by Fleetwood Mac


End file.
